


There Grows a Tree in Paradise

by God_Help_Me



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Study, Child Death, Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, L (Death Note) Centric, One Shot, POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Panic Attacks, Short One Shot, Title taken from a Joan Baez song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:00:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25030549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/God_Help_Me/pseuds/God_Help_Me
Summary: The bells had always been ringing, never ceasing in their endless toll.He just wished that they weren't so loud.
Relationships: L & Yagami Light
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	There Grows a Tree in Paradise

The bells never seemed to stop ringing, they had always been there. They had been there when his mother was singing to him, when Quillish had found him on the side of an old abandoned road, when A had ~~committed suicide~~ , had died, and when he met Light. But today, they seemed louder, more demanding.

He didn’t like it, he didn’t like not knowing the reason behind things, he didn’t like the bells. Neither did his mother.

Everything was off, everything was quiet, everything was too loud, it was overwhelming. So he left, walking at a normal (it wasn’t normal, he was on the brink of breaking into a sprint, he knew it, the task force knew it, he was falling apart) pace until he was out of view, breaking into a sprint to get to the roof so then everything would be okay because the walls weren’t closing in and everythingwouldbefinebecuaseit _had_ tobefine.

He stood on the edge of the roof, it was ironic, wasn’t it? His first successor had died from jumping off a roof, how long did he stand there, debating if it was a good choice, waiting for someone to come help him? And now here he stands, the bells becoming almost painful to hear, he felt like he couldn't breath but it was like he was getting too much air and it _hurt_.

He wanted it to stop hurting.

But it didn’t.

He looked towards the sky, the bells still ringing in his ears, mixing with the sound of the rain and the voice of Kira. Was that going to be the last sound he would ever hear? The voice of the killer that no one wants to believe?

He had kneeled before Kira, because he had lost, oh dear god- he _lost_. But in a way, so did Kira. Kira didn’t think what he was doing was justice, not really, it was nothing more but entertainment. And L was his prime source.

“It will be lonely, won’t it?” He spoke to Kira, willing himself to not look up from his task, to not look Kira in the eyes. His eyes felt funny either way, burning from something that he hadn’t felt in a while, best not to let Kira see it. “You and I will be parting ways soon.”

He had heard the intake of breath, looking up at ~~Kira~~ , looking up at Light. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, to do, but he couldn’t. Not anymore, it was too late for a rewrite of the rules of their game. But at least there was a pause, a chance for them to break character the slightest bit. Kira becomes Light Yagami, L becomes L. Lawliet.

But it had been something brief, nothing more than the slight softening in Lights eyes, but it's gone and Kira is back when his phone rings. It was time, the game had ended for him.

For Quillish.

Quillish didn’t realize that, did he? Although, the man cannot be blamed for the fault of L, the fault of his ward that will lead to his demise.

Just like his mother.

Just like his sister.

Just like ~~Alro~~ , just like A.

There wasn’t anything that could be done, the bells had become deafening, the screens lit up red and Quillish wasn’t responding. The Shinigami wasn’t in the room and he knew why, his time was up. He just- he just wished that his sister could have been proud of him, that she could have been there to tell him tht she loved him as he lay in the arms of Kira.

But he knew she couldn’t.

Because he knew it wasn’t true.

It had never been true.

The bells faded, replaced with the voice of his mother.

_There grows a tree in Paradise_  
And the pilgrims call it the Tree of Life  
All my trials Lord, soon be over 

His eyes had glazed over, going out of focus with the last blurry image of Kira's face before everything else was drowned out.

The bells were the only thing he could hear now.

**Author's Note:**

> I like L, he is my favorite character, but I was kind of disappointed when I didn't see that many L-Centric fics because he is an interesting character to write for, especially if he has panic attacks. Contrary to popular belief, panic attacks aren't always collapse on the ground shaking and crying, a lot of the times it's internal but it feels like everyone can see you in that state.
> 
> (Take Bo Burnham as the example here, he has had multiple panic attacks on stage and thought that it was clear to everyone, he talks about it on a podcast but I'll just link the anxiety talk here: https://youtu.be/OpPjK8uW4u0)
> 
> Here's my discord server where I talk about _stuff_ , and _things_ :  
> https://discord.gg/Kkcyfmg


End file.
